Wants. Maintaining wants can be a two-edged sword. Most wants are desires or cravings for pleasure, property, prominence, or power. Ancient eastern religions, such as Buddhism assert that “desire” is the root of all suffering.
The other side of the two-edged sword equates at least some wants with passion and drive, without which you may lack sufficient motivation to change. You need the one and not the other.
Clearly there are different categories of wants. Some wants are draining, distracting, and derailing. They hinder growth and create suffering and sorrow. On the other hand, some wants are forces for good in support of progression and growth. Properly clarified and focused, good wants can propel and inspire us to reach new heights.
Some intelligence is required here. Not only do you need to differentiate the supportive wants from the destructive types, but you must also work to diminish and discourage desires that detract and cultivate passions that empower.
Let’s put some examples to these principles. Let’s say our friend Alfred has set some clear goals for his life. Among other things Alfred wants to achieve financial freedom, enjoy life and relationships, and make the world a better place. Alfred’s friend Alex wants Alfred to buy an expensive car. Alfred wants to please his friend, he likes the idea of owning a great car, and he knows that indulging in this luxury purchase would indeed be pleasurable. Alfred knows, however, that purchasing the car would work against his goals. And, deep inside, he doesn’t even want the car. At least not as much compared to his true heart’s desires which are represented in his life goals.
But in that moment, he has a decision: should he cultivate this new want or cultivate his existing want (his existing life goals). Either want he focuses on will grow. Will he focus on financial freedom or fantastic cars? He must have the intelligence and fortitude to focus on the wants that propel him to a life of happiness and fulfillment and continue him on to see him achieve his bigger goals.